How to Stop People Pleasing: Set Boundaries

Stopping people-pleasing tendencies begins with recognizing the pattern in a specific relationship rather than trying to change everything at once, and as an RN with over twenty years of nursing experience and Reiki Master expertise, this is one of the most common experiences people describe to me. For some people, pleasing tendencies develop as a way to avoid conflict or maintain connection — which is why they do not feel like self sabotage in the moment, but rather like safety. The practical starting point is to pause before agreeing, notice what is actually true for you, and practice stating a preference or a limit in low-stakes situations first. Strong boundaries and healthy boundaries are built this way — gradually, through small repeated choices rather than a single confrontation. Over time, the relationship with yourself becomes the one that guides the others.

About the Author

Dorian Lynn, RN is the founder of Mystic Medicine Boutique and a Registered Nurse with over twenty years of nursing experience, Reiki Master expertise, and the intuitive pattern recognition of an Intuitive Mystic Healer.

Source: Brown, B. (2010). The Gifts of Imperfection. Hazelden Publishing. This book explores authenticity, self-worth, and the challenges of living in alignment with personal values.